A Pen Dipped In Poison

This charming book features the sleuthing adventures of three retired primary school teachers – Liz, Pat and Thelma. This is the second outing for the three friends, and I imagine there's a third instalment in the pipeline.

Mrs Kayleigh Brittain is Executive Head of St Barnabus Primary Academy. It is all funky phonics and some new-fangled approach called Pineapple Maths and not at all like primary school teaching in the days when our three heroines were in charge of the classroom.

Kayleigh is immaculately turned out with her scarlet lacquered nails, her sleek designer suits and perfectly coiffed glossy chestnut mane. The school is run as a business and results are all. JM Hall has his tongue firmly in his cheek when he describes the educational process of the Academy System. Teachers call small children 'guys' and most teaching seems to consist of PowerPoint presentations projected onto vast flat screens.

But all is not well in this new educational paradise. Kayleigh has received a couple of very unsavoury poison pen letters telling her that she's not wanted at St Barnabus and to get out or else. There's also something nasty lurking in the boiler room. The school is always swelteringly hot, which surely can't be furthering the cause of new-wave energy efficiency.  And when it becomes apparent that other members of staff have received these horrid missives too then it's time for Liz, Pat and Thelma to get involved.

The story is Yorkshire-based which is always a winner. The three friends meet at their usual table at Thirsk Garden Centre cafe to thrash out what to do about these offensive white envelopes and their terrible contents. Along the way they uncover local government corruption, a very dodgy builder, a dark secret from one teacher's past, a stationery cupboard affair and some petty pilfering. All human life is here!

There are a lot of characters, both in school and out, for the reader to get a fix on. Liz, Pat and Thelma each have a husband and a family life. And whereas I found it reasonably easy to distinguish between the three women, it was harder to remember who was married to who and what their particular backstory was. I had to do a lot of thumbing backwards and forwards.

In the end Thelma proves to be the most astute investigator and Liz and Pat have to go along with her, literally, as the denouement involves a drive from Yorkshire to Cornwall and back. But the case is solved satisfactorily and the loose ends neatly tied up.

Author JM Hall is a busy man. In addition to writing books and plays, he is also deputy head of a primary school which lends authenticity to his school scenes and in particular his depiction of staffroom politics. I once had a brief flirtation with teaching, and I think he hits the nail right on the head. And as in most primary schools I am guessing he is one man amongst many women because his portrayal of retired women of a certain age is affectionate, accurate and not at all patronising.

For the future, perhaps Hall would do well to think in terms of less is more and not pack quite so much information and quite so many characters into future adventures. But nevertheless, I found A Pen Dipped in Poison a most enjoyable crime caper.